An open letter.....

...to my (a$hole) ex-landlords:

dear a$&holes,

thank you for taking over two-thirds of our security deposit. I hope your new tenants enjoy the upgrades you financed with our money. I hope your children enjoy the thirty-dollar-an-hour rate you paid them (skilled laborers) to paint one wall in the house. I also hope that the two-hundred something dollars you charged us for a carpet cleaning lined your pockets well after you rented the same steam cleaning vacuum we used. your combined efforts as property managers have to be of the lowest caliber I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing. your efforts to weasel money out of us were evident long before you sent us the return, on the last possible day of the 60 day grace period you gave yourselves in the lease. the fact that the majority of the things you charged us for actually go against legal precedents is obviously of no concern to you, since you are both most likely aware of the fact that renters have almost no legal recourse against landlords of your breed and creed. honestly, my best option for requital is to educate your current tenants as to the similar misfortune they will most likely face when they leave your property. I hope this karma comes back to you someday, as it should.

cheers, and don't come around my door if your car radiator starts smelling like limburger ;)

~t