pop-a-squat

hoh-kay,

bit of a rant here, so just bear (down) with me... one of the cultural differences that is impossible to ignore here in taiwan, is the use of the squatter in public restrooms. now, perhaps it is my spoiled anglo-tushie, or some preference for having a bit of a library when i need relief, but i find using a squatter a bit of a pain in the ass (tasteless pun intended). i should also preface this with the fact that i have no problem assuming the squatting position when i'm twenty miles from civilization, or wiping my butt with everything from leaves to stones to snow... i'm proud to say i've used all of those with great success in the past... but doing this in a claustrophobia-enducing cubby, with slick tile floor and absolutely no aiding support, can be a challenge. the 'squatter' for anyone who hasn't figured it out, is the minimalistic alternative to the classic sit-down toilet. in south america you are lucky to find one that is little more than a hole in the ground. here in taiwan they are slightly more refined, being flush-fit recessed porcelain fixtures that flush. the tricky thing about them is that they require a certain amount of flexibility and balance to utilize without incurring tragic consequences. another side effect of the stance required, is that any possibility of relaxing is gone. so, all in all, they are generally an experience to be dealt with as quickly as possible. ah, yes... i almost forgot; there is never (read: never-ever) any sort of tissue paper in the stall... it is strictly b.y.o.t-p... another slight oddity as this necessitates walking through your building with a roll of toilet paper in hand. "hey, tarka... where are you headed?"... ah, usually i might reply, "oh, just going to go get a drink." or some such banal or vague reply. with tp in hand, it is inescapably obvious what one intends to do in the near future....

~t